Music as an excuse

Posts, Uncategorized

Music is a life saver, no doubt, and I have no idea what would I do without it.

People say you can lose yourself in the tones of instruments and voices but, for me, there’s more. I’m not a people person tbh so one of the things I hate the most is when I’m forced to be like one on ne with someone I don’t know well, then my stomach feels heavy and my mind is confused and I feel like I’m about to break down. BUT when I have headphones and see someone I know I just wave and act like “yeah, hi, but this music is very good, I don’t wanna chat”. And people take it, music is an excuse, acceptable one, which helped me a lot. Obviously can’t use it in every situation but when I can I do.


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Diary, Uncategorized

The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality”

Life’s sometimes absolutely horrendous, I know it pretty good myself. Far too often it can feel like you’re going through hell and so you wish you already were in hell where nothing can surprise you anymore. Standing alone and helplessly watching how your life is running through your fingers, day by day, month by month, and you can’t do anything to stop this. To make your appearance noticeable. You’re a ghost in the world of living creatures, jealous of their breathing, beating heart, happy souls. You wanna be like them but you’re not able to doesn’t matter how much you want to. They’re alive. You’re just a living dead soul. You’re drowning in your own pain and agony and have no one to save you even tho there’s a lot of people around you who like to call themselves saviors. But words aren’t everything, are they now? Words are knives not plasters.